Category Archives: Women

Lean In? Maybe it should be Lean On…

Copyright JC Politi Photography

Copyright JC Politi Photography

According to an editorial in the New York Times this week, Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer at Facebook, has a new book coming out this year entitled “Lean In.”

Her main hypothesis is that women internalize the messages surrounding them that they should not be aggressive or assertive and that they frequently make career decisions based on concerns that are not yet real, such as kids or a spouse that have yet to come. She places much of the blame for the lack of women in leadership positions on these issues.

I have written about Sandberg’s theories on this blog in the past. I shared that I have fallen prey to some of these tendencies myself over the course of my career. I certainly know that I am an abysmal negotiator when it comes to my salary; sometimes it seems I am more likely to negotiate down than up.

But I wonder about younger women and if this paradigm is shifting. While the statistics on women in leadership positions remain fairly bleak, young women now have competent role models like Hillary Clinton and Sheryl Sandberg and Sonia Sotomayor, whose work encourages them to shoot for the stars.

As I have written before, what has not shifted as much are the workplace policies that allow women and men to find a way to balance a family and a career. There is no question that workplace policies need to shift to enable men, as well as women, to contribute fully in both the workplace and at home if that is what that family chooses.

It seems that young women and men are making more demands of their employers for things like telecommuting and flexible schedules to enable them to better achieve balance. And a number of extremely talented people are making these demands, so companies are forced to choose between accepting these requests and losing talented staff.

The choice for me would be simple. I would choose a balanced, talented staff person any day over someone who is going to work themselves to the bone until they are burned out and unable to contribute. And if all it takes is a flexible work schedule to make that person content over the long-term, who wouldn’t fulfill that request?

What do you think? When do you think we will reach a tipping point and when companies will change their policies to make them more family-friendly? Do you think family friendly policies impact a company’s bottom line? If so, how? Do you think our corporate culture is ready for this shift, or will these change come about as the next generation reaches leadership positions and can force change?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

16 Comments

Filed under Business, Career Planning, Culture, Economy, equality, Fitness, Home, Income inequality, Parenting, Politcs, Relationships, social pressures, Stereotypes, Women

I Choose Hope – Reflections on the Election

 

Boulder Obama RallyCopyright JC Politi Photography

Boulder Obama Rally
Copyright JC Politi Photography

It has been a busy few weeks here at newsofthetimes, between Thanksgiving visitors and a conference I planned for work. We also had to respond to a media blitz in my day job that took up quite a bit of time and energy. This is why I haven’t really had the opportunity to do much more here than Tunes Tuesday posts and photo challenge posts over the past several weeks.

I haven’t had a moment to think much about, much less write about, the election results. But an article in the New York Times caught my eye today and gave me a moment to think about the meaning of the November 6th election results.

I made it clear that I supported Obama in the election, which I am sure, came as no surprise to people who have followed this blog. So, I was obviously pleased with the outcome of the Presidential race.

But I feel even more optimistic about the future of the country because of the results of the statewide initiatives.

While I recognize that the election was close and that there is no grand majority on either side of the political divide right now in terms of political candidates, I feel hopeful that voters chose to stand up for equality and fairness on November 6th.

Copyright JC Politi Photography

Copyright JC Politi Photography

I am hopeful that voters in more than one state voted to support GLBT communities in their quest for marriage equality.I am hopeful that President Obama won the presidential race despite the fact that he was clear about his intentions to ask the wealthy to pay more in taxes. Some may not call this an issue of equality, but I think that the obscene increase in CEO pay compared to workers’ pay makes this unquestionably an issue of basic fairness.

I am hopeful that the country appears to be headed toward a more equal and just society. The American people seem to hold a fundamental belief in the basic principle of equality and fairness.

Regardless of political party, I believe the American people will always choose to stand for the principles of fairness and equal opportunity when given the choice. And that makes me hopeful.

Am I wearing rose colored glasses? Perhaps. Have I been burned in the past for feeling so hopeful? Absolutely.  But today, I am choosing to feel hopeful.

Let me be clear – I have no illusions that getting through the fiscal cliff and debt ceiling debates will not be as difficult as ever. I know Congress will not magically become a high functioning body as a result of these elections.

But I believe that that people resoundingly chose equality and fairness on November 6th, and for that I am hopeful.

What do you think? Should I take off my rose-colored glasses? Do you see any reasons for hope from the November election or do you feel like the gridlock will continue in Washington? What did you take away from the election as lessons or important trends?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

22 Comments

Filed under Culture, Economy, equality, Ethics, Income inequality, Love, Policy, Politcs, Poverty, Role of Government, Stereotypes, Women

Tunes Tuesday: Janis Ian

Copyright JC Politi Photography
Students in a hallway in Nicaragua

Tunes Tuesday is a weekly series where I highlight songs that are poetic even without the music.

This song has stuck with me since I was…about seventeen. My dad listened to Janis Ian records when I was young and the words to this song are probably some of the first lyrics I ever really noticed. They are just so poignant and real.

For this Tunes Tuesday, I present At Seventeen by Janis Ian.

At Seventeen
Janis Ian

I leaned the truth at  seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school  girls with clear-skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired

The valentines I never knew
The  Friday night charades of youth
Were  spent on one more beautiful
At  seventeen I learned the truth

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately  remained at homeInventing lovers  on the phone
Who called to say,  “Come dance with me”
And murmured  vague obscenities
It isn’t all it  seems at seventeen

A brown-eyed  girl in hand-me-downs
Whose name I  never could pronounce
Said, “Pity,  please, the ones who serve’
Cause  they only get what they deserve”

And  the rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With  a guarantee of company
And haven  for the elderly

So remember  those who win the game
Lose the  love they sought to gain
In  debentures of quality and dubious integrity
Their  small town eyes will gape at you
In  dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen

To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball

It was long ago and far away
The  world was younger than today
When  dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me

We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
They call and say, “Come on, dance with me”
And murmur vague obscenities
At  ugly girls like me at seventeen

What do you think? What other songs expose raw emotion like this? Do you have a favorite song from your childhood that still touches your heart today? Why are the teenage years so hard for so many of us?

I would love to hear your thoughts! Thank you for reading.

35 Comments

Filed under Music, Women

Tunes Tuesday: 9 to 5

Copyright JC Politi Photography

Frequent readers of this blog know that I have dedicated Tunes Tuesdays posts between now and the election to songs about politics and social issues. The past month’s Tunes Tuesday’s have been dedicated to this, with songs including, That’s Just the Way It Is, What It’s Like, and Christmastime in Washington.This week, I am reviving a golden oldy that feels as relevant today as when it first came out.

There is no question that the Presidential election is going to hinge on people’s perception of which candidate will be able to improve the economy.

With that in mind, I bring you this week’s Tunes Tuesday pick, 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton. While this may not seem like a political song, it explores the most fundamental issue in the current political discourse.

9 to 5
Dolly Parton

Tumble outta bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin’, stretchin’, try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin’
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin’
And folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

Chorus:
Workin’ 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin’
Barely getting’ by
Its all takin’
And no givin’
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It’s enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

9 to 5, for service and devotion
You would think that I
Would deserve a fair promotion
Want to move ahead
But the boss won’t seem to let me in
I swear sometimes that man is out to get me
Mmmmm…

They let your dream
Just a watch ‘em shatter
You’re just a step
On the boss mans a ladder
But you got dream he’ll never take away

On the same boat
With a lot of your friends
Waitin’ for the day
Your ship’ll come in
And the tides gonna turn
An it’s all gonna roll you away

Workin’ 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin’
Barely getting’ by
Its all takin’
And no givin’
They just use your mind
And you never get the credit
It’s enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you
There’s a better life
And you think that I would daunt you
Its a rich mans game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Puttin’ money in his wallet

Workin 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin
Barely gettin by
Its all takin
And no givin
They just use you mind
And they never give you credit
Its enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you
There’s a better life
And you dream that I would daunt you
It’s a rich man’s game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Puttin’ money in his wallet

What do you think? Do you think the economy is the primary issue in this election? What steps would you take to improve the economy? How do we avoid an economic crisis like we have just gone through in the future?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

And for a giggle:

18 Comments

Filed under Career Planning, comedy, Culture, Economy, equality, Income inequality, Music, Politcs, Poverty, Stereotypes, Women

Marissa Mayer: Iconic figure or simply the face of future leadership?

Copyright JC Politi Photography

The press has been buzzing with news of the recent hire of Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer who, at 37, appears to be the first Fortune 500 CEO to be hired while pregnant, the youngest Fortune 500 CEO in history and only the twentieth female Fortune 500 CEO.

I read a story on CNN’s Management and Career blog about how she is also one of the few examples of successful businesswomen who “fully owns her femininity.”

What does this mean? I am intrigued by how enthralled we seem to be with this woman’s story. I understand that she is only the twentieth female to head a Fortune 500 company. And 37 is young for such a high-level position.

I certainly hope that she excels in the role and serves as a model to young women everywhere.

But the water cooler debates have been raging. I have heard discussions regarding whether Yahoo will regret its decision or whether Ms. Mayer will be able to handle the pressures, especially with a young child. And now, it seems, the press has moved on to debate her clothing choices.

As far as women have progressed in business, and there is no question that women have broken through many glass ceilings, it is clear that women still face significant gender biases in the workplace.

Marissa Mayer is being examined like a rare specimen in a museum and Yahoo is under intense scrutiny. Who is this unique creature? And what company would make such a bold decision?

I don’t see Ms. Mayer taking the helm of Yahoo as an iconic event. I know plenty of 37 year olds at the top of their careers who want children and plan to start a family after age 35. This is a trend I have discussed before, where women put off having children until they feel their career is where they would like it to be.

I am quite confident we will see more of this type of female leader in the future as the next generation reaches their potential. There was a thoughtful article called Marissa Mayer: Are the Rest of Us Shooting Too Low?, in the Forbes Magazine Work In Progress Blog about the conflict many women face when making choices about their personal potential.

With time, the media will probably continue to report on the woman’s hair and clothing – I suppose they need to report something. But I hope that the simple fact that a woman who is named CEO of a Fortune 500 Company is also going to be a mother will become yesterday’s news.

The more pertinent question is whether Marissa Mayer can lead Yahoo out of its recent slump. And if she is unable to do so, will her gender be cited as the reason for her failure? There have been several news stories questioning Ms. Mayer’s management style, so I don’t think that these questions are unfair.

Of course, these stories may come from a segment of society who generally believes that women are less competent leaders, so I will take these with a grain of salt and cheer her on from the sidelines.

What do you think? Do you think that this story deserves all the attention it has received in the press? Do you think that Marissa Mayer will be more likely or less likely to implement family-friendly policies at Yahoo? Why do you think the press feels a need to focus so much attention on the hairstyles and clothing of women in leadership positions, be they corporate CEOs or politicians? Do you think that we will reach a tipping point anytime soon where a female CEO will be less noteworthy? Why or why not? And what do you think about Yahoo’s choice to hire a 37 year old pregnant woman as their CEO at this challenging time?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this, you might also like:

Does Anyone Care About The Lack of Women in Leadership Positions? (newsofthetimes.org)

Sheryl Sandberg’s Top 3 Tips To Keep Women in High Level Positions (newsofthetimes.org)

Four Strategies to Achieve Higher Employee Engagement (newsofthetimes.org)

30 Comments

Filed under Business, Career Planning, Culture, equality, Parenting, social pressures, Stereotypes, Technology, Women, Youth Leadership

Love is All Around

One of many signs this morning.
Copyright JC Politi Photography

In light of the horrific events in Colorado on Friday, I thought I would dedicate today’s post to love.

I just finished my first sprint triathlon of the summer (1/4 mile swim, 17+ mile bike and 3.1 mile run!!) and all I could think about this morning as I looked around me was love.

I have only done all-womens triathlons. Every event I have done, I have left inspired by the women of all ages, shapes and sizes who are putting themselves through something physically challenging just to know they can do it. The support the women show each other is truly inspiring.

But what has really touched me in these events is the men who come to support the women in their lives. They come with signs, with advice, with music and with cameras. And they come with love and support. I can’t explain what this means to the women racing.

I do triathlons for many reasons, but one of the reasons is to have something that is all my own. Something that enables me to feel like I really accomplished something I set my mind to. The fact that the men at these races support their partners who have similar goals warms my heart.

And my sweet husband is one of them, so I thank him for that.

In the immortal words of the movie Love, Actually:

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.

A few other things that inspired me to write this post:

I came across a post yesterday called Heartwarming Quotes from Children About Love. Some adults asked the kids to tell them what love meant to them. Some of my favorites:

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” Emily – age 8

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5

You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica – age 8

And finally, my post on love would not be complete without including this wonderful video, which to me is just a picture of love around the world. Thank you to Mimi from Waiting for the Karma Truck for this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwe-pA6TaZk&feature=player_detailpage

What do you think? What are some of your favorite movies about love? Or poems? Or quotes? What is something simple that makes you realize that love is all around?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

41 Comments

Filed under Culture, Fitness, Love, Parenting, Relationships, social pressures, Women

Secrets to a Long, Happy Marriage

From our Wedding in Argentina – 2007

Marriage is hard. We hear this all the time.

There is an article in the New York Times this week called The Wedding Effect, which really touched me.

The author is 29 years old and the article provides an honest, almost raw portrayal of her fears and skepticism regarding marriage. She calls marriage a “daredevil leap of faith,” which I think describes it perfectly.

The article held my interest for several reasons.

First, I could have written this same article at 29. My parents divorced when I was quite young – I think I was six. I was fortunate to have grandparents on both sides of the family who lived beyond 80, but both of their spouses died young.

When I was growing up, I had very few examples of marriage working through thick and thin. I had friends whose parents were still married and I remember being fascinated when I would occasionally hear their parents fight because I didn’t think people whose parents stayed together fought. I thought fighting meant divorce.

My husband and I have been married for five years this year. That feels like quite an accomplishment.

But this article reminded me of fears that I know are deeply embedded in my psyche about whether marriages can last. I am very happy in my marriage, and know that these questions come from that obnoxious inner voice whose words I simply need to hear and let go, much like the inner messages we hear telling us that we are not good enough.

From our small Baltimore wedding – we had two! Same dress…:-)

Whenever I meet couples who have been together for years, I ask their secret for a long marriage. This is not an attempt to make conversation. I am simply trying to place as many tools in my toolbox as I can to keep my marriage strong and to make up for the fact that my experience in my immediate family seemed to illustrate that only second marriages survive.

There is another interesting component to this article which is related to conversations we have had on this blog about women in the workplace. So many women have chosen to focus on their careers before marriage and before having children.

As I have written before, this can lead to women finding that by the time they are ready to have kids, their biological clocks have run out.

It is a cruel trick of nature and science definitely has it backwards on this one. I am quite confident I would be a significantly better parent now that I am 40 than I would have been at 21.

But I wonder how much of the fact that people are getting married later can be explained by fears like those described in this article. Statistics show the proliferation of children of divorce. This has to contribute to people getting married later in life.

What do you think? I would love to hear thoughts and advice for what keeps a marriage strong and healthy, through good and bad. What makes second marriages more successful? How do you silence the voices that question if your marriage is perfect? Is any marriage perfect? And do you think the fact that so many people came from homes with divorced parents is leading to later marriage? What impact do you see this having over the long term?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

85 Comments

Filed under Career Planning, Parenting, Relationships, Religion, social pressures, Women